I don’t wait well. In fact, it’s safe to say I avoid it at all cost. You know how some people say they have an ugly cry? I have an ugly wait. I said in a blog many moons ago that I started cutting my own hair the day my bangs went rogue and my stylist’s next available appointment was weeks away.  I do my own nails. Because when one breaks while I’m scraping that lint tray on the dryer, I refuse to walk around with a gnarly nail while waiting to get it fixed.  I break out in a sweat when I’ve asked my husband to do something that I can’t do and three days later, that light bulb outside on the 12 foot thing is still out.  And if you really want to see me lose it, just make my computer slow, have my kids keep Snap Chatting rather than answer me, and let somebody remove anything from my bathroom, all on the same day.

I just don’t do waiting. So imagine my panic 17 weeks, 7 hours and 55 minutes in on a broken leg. That hasn’t started healing. Want to know why? Because, as my doctor has said repeatedly, the tibia is the slowest healing bone in the body. And the lower area where my break is located is the slowest healing area of the tibia. So the woman with no patience gets the spiral crack in the one part of the body where all you can do is…wait.

Coincidence? I think not. Genius plan from my Maker who knows what I need when I need it and why I need it that way? I’m going with that. Because to sit and think there’s absolutely no Divine purpose in this at all makes me angry.  Like smoke coming out of my ears, unleash the hounds of hell angry.  I want to walk.  I want to jump.  I want to workout. (Wait, what?) I want to drive my car.  I want to browse Pier 1 for throw pillows.  I want to carry my own purse while I browse Pier 1 for throw pillows.  I want to go to my pantry and pull out chocolatey, sugary things that I have no business eating and then maybe go to the fridge instead and grab an apple.   I want to make potato soup.  Because my husband has earned sainthood for taking care of me for 122 days and counting but he didn’t make it right. Three times. And then I want to actually be able to carry a bowl of that soup to anywhere in my house, sit down, curl my legs up under me and eat it. And then clean the bowl myself. I want to be able to get up from that spot where I sat without leaning on something.  I want to sleep on my right side, all the way, knees fully bent, legs stacked on top of each other. I want to sing standing up. I want to blow dry my hair and put on my makeup standing up.  I even want to vacuum. I want out of this brace and back to normal with all those sayings attached – every fiber of my being, so bad I can taste it, etc. But it’s just not happening.  And I can’t change it.  So I’m digging deep.  I’m going to find purpose and meaning and reason in this freaky little slow healing tibia if it kills me. Because I won’t survive it if there’s nothing to gain. There has to be treasure and Truth and growth I would never have otherwise experienced at the end of this.

And oh the nuggets I have all ready unearthed.

“Patience eliminates worry. The Lord said He would come, and His promise is equal to his presence. Patience eliminates weeping. Why feel sad and discouraged?  He knows your needs better than you do, and His purpose is waiting to receive more glory through it. Patience eliminates self-works. ‘The work of God is this: to believe’ (John 6:29) and once you believe, you may know all is well. Patience eliminates want. Perhaps your desire to get what you want is stronger than your desire for the will of God to be fulfilled. Patience eliminates weakness. Instead of thinking of waiting being wasted time, realize that God is preparing His resources and strengthening you. Patience eliminates wobbling. ‘He touched me and raised me to my feet’ (Daniel 8:18). God’s foundations are steady, and when we have His patience within, we are steady while we wait. Patience yields worship. Sometimes the best part of waiting is ‘experiencing great endurance and patience…JOYFULLY.’ (Colossians 1:11).

While you wait, ‘let all patience have her perfect work’ (James 1:4) and you will be greatly enriched.”

Charles Henry Parkhurst