First things first. The fact that I’m writing this doesn’t mean I’m ready for you. Or that she is. It just means I’m a mom and my first-born daughter is having a milestone birthday so I’m super reflective and emotional. But at some point in time you will surely arrive, so here are a few of my thoughts.  

This picture was taken a few weeks ago. When she was still 17. Before she could vote, or get a tattoo without my consent. It’s one of my very favorite pictures of her because, although it doesn’t even begin to show all that she is, it captures a certain something that is uniquely “her.”  And someday you’re going to notice it.

So I want you to know a few things from the perspective of someone who’s seen, known and loved this essence that is “her” from the beginning.

Its not just physical beauty. Although clearly God worked a masterpiece when He fashioned her, and it’s been mentioned a time or two that she’s stunning, the thing at the heart of this photo is not her face. It’s everything radiating from it. If it could be bottled, I’d have stocked my shelves with it. If it could be copied, everybody would have it. If it could be sold, the price would be exorbitant. But it can’t be any of those. Because it’s just her.

This thing, this essence that is so uniquely her, makes her boundlessly joyful. Her smile and her laugh are two of the most powerful things in our house, and in my life. It is a proven fact that the sound of her laughter has healed broken hearts and caused infectious fits of delight to break out and destroy bad moods. So you have to give her lots of reasons to use these things, and you have to bring her home often so I can experience their awesomeness.

This her-ness also causes seemingly endless amounts of energy. A pretty word for it would be exuberance. And she’s been this way from the second she arrived. Although you can’t truly call her a morning person, the fact is that once she’s awake, it’s game on. If for some hilarious yet cruel reason God has allowed you, the man who won her heart, to be an introverted homebody, welcome to my world. And if you don’t drink coffee, start. Like now.

The third thing I’d like you to know is that, despite the fact that she has incredible emotional strength and a ridiculously high tolerance for physical pain, this steadfast rock of a girl is still extremely fragile. It’s hard to know, or even believe this because she doesn’t share her feelings easily, or with much description. So I learned quickly that her pain is most clearly seen in her eyes. Whether she is physically sick or her heart is heavy, the beautiful, bright light of her hazel eyes will dim, and you’ll need to act, gently and sweetly but persistently, until she feels safe  and can formulate her thoughts and tell you what’s going on. Some of my most precious memories are wrapped in moments just like these.

Clearly as her mom (and a girl and a writer) I could spend another week on this blog, or fill an entire journal with descriptive words and stories of this priceless, perfect soul you have come to treasure. I have no doubt we’ll get to know each other well through the years. But for now, as you start your journey with her, know and remember that you have chosen a piece of my heart as your partner. I’ve known and loved her from the second I knew of her existence, and while giving her to you is not easy, it only reminds me that she was never mine to begin with. She was a gift to me from her Creator, entrusted to her father and I to love and nurture until such a time as this. It also reminds me that I have prayed for you, for your heart, for  your life, and the moment your world would collide with hers, with great expectancy and fervor. And you were loved and accepted before we ever knew your name.

Your job is to continue what her dad and I have started – study her. Learn her gifts, and encourage her to use them. Protect her at all costs. Provide for her. Give grace to her shortcomings. Tell her she’s beautiful. Be grateful for her, and tell her you are. Cheer her on. Love her as Jesus does. And every day, pray for her like her life depends on it, because it does.

And finally, know this: You are special. Because to be the one who holds her heart is to be chosen for a destiny you’ve only dared to dream of.

Father in Heaven, thank You for this gift of my daughter. Thank You for choosing me to steward and care for her. Thank You for the Light within her that can only be attributed to Your Spirit and the beauty about her that can only come from Your hand. I want nothing less than all You want for her. On this, her 18th birthday, and for each of her days and years to come, pour out Your grace and favor on her, as well as the man You have made for her. I am overwhelmed on this day by all You have given me through this child.