I’m a Christian.  This means Christ follower.  This means different.  Cuz let’s face it, Jesus was different.  The Son of God, washing people’s feet and hanging out with prostitutes and drunks;   not normal.  So I wonder why some of us do all the stuff that the world says is normal when our example was so very not?

I remember when my daughter was 8 and someone asked her if she had a boyfriend.  Cuz apparently that’s the most normaI thing you ask a little girl.  I have never experienced so many emotions at once.  Are you…kidding? Nuts? Sick?  Has she ever noticed that a boy was cute? Sure.  She may have been little, but she was, after all, human.  She saw handsome boys and sweet boys and funny boys on a regular basis and thought, hmmm…I might wanna marry him someday.  And that’s ok.  But full-on relationship? At 8? Really?

Now that both my girls are teenagers, these types of questions abound and pile up by the day.  Today, even. From a complete stranger. Because it’s normal, right?  Teenagers date, right?  That’s just what they do.  We did it.  Our parents did it.  Culturally normal.  I mean we don’t want ‘em to have sex until they’re married, but let’s let ‘em date the opposite sex from age 11 to whenever, hold hands & kiss and have their pulse race to heights of ecstacy  they can barely manage, but manage they must, we say,  because we want them to be “pure”.  Then maybe some day they’re in a situation they can’t manage anymore.  Or maybe they can, right up until the day they walk the aisle, but by then they’ve come in and out of so many relationships that their hearts were no longer whole before their feet even finished growing. And there’s a few broken hearts in their wake, too.  And Mister Right down there by the preacher on going to the chapel day gets what’s left.  Sounds like a nice, normal plan to me.

Or, we could do something crazy like go against the grain of the world and tell our kids something like this.  “You know what? You’re going to have feelings for the opposite sex.  It’s ok.  It’s not sinful or wrong.  But how you act on those feelings is where I, your Christ-following parent, come in.  (Remember Him? Mr. I don’t do it the way it’s always been done?) And I don’t want you to be consumed by these feelings and end up hurt, so here’s what we’re gonna do.  You’re not gonna date until I say you’re spiritually and emotionally mature enough to do so.  And there’s no magical, across-the-board age when that happens, k?  Your BFF’s have nothing to do with it.  They don’t live here. And that boy?  You can’t text him or private message him, because that will only enhance and encourage those feelings, whether they’re yours or his.  And you know what else? Some guys – not all, but some – will say just about anything to you in writing.  They might even tell you they love you at the ripe old age of 12.  And just seeing those words – not even hearing them but just seeing them in front of you will make your heart go pitter patter.  And boom.  You’ve given this kid a piece of your heart, via text of all things.  And next month when he decides he’s in ‘love’ with somebody else? Then what? You see where I’m going here? So if I let you pursue and act on every feeling and crush you have for the next 10 years, this process could repeat itself 20 times, and what kind of parent sets their child up to have her heart broken 20 times? Not happening.  So we’re not gonna look like the rest of the world on this guy/girl thing.  And people will tell you and I both that we’re crazy and ridiculous and over the top and too conservative.  And I’m OK with that and happy to defend you when you can’t remember why we came to these decisions and your little teenage mouth wants to turn to me and say, ‘Why are we so different?!’  So just be ready.  Because we’re not doing life in the world according to the world.  If you have a problem with that, find me the scripture that says I’m in direct disobedience to the One who entrusted you to me and we’ll talk.”

That sounds beautifully abnormal to me.